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During my son’s years as an elementary school student and most of the middle school, I liked his friends a lot. He surrounded himself with sweet, curious, thoughtful kids who made good choices. Of course, they weren’t perfect and would get carried away as kids do when they are together, but there was never anyone who stood out as a bad influence, made my son feel poorly about himself, or was hurtful to the other children.
My husband and I have been empty nesters for almost a year now. While it certainly took us a while to get used to the deafening silence, and the aches in our hearts, we adjusted rather quickly to the many benefits: lower grocery bills, less laundry, cooking, cleaning, and nagging. I want my college aged kids to be thoughtful adults. (Halfpoint/Shutterstock) Weve eased into a new routine and overall, home life is simpler and more structured in a good way.
A simple definition of average is: Someone who is just like everyone else; an average person. What I want my teens to know about being “average.” (Shutterstock Mark Herreid) What? That cant be. When did it happen that we dont celebrate normal anymore? Ill be the first to admit it and shout it from the rooftops. I am not perfect, and Im pretty much average.
Last July, my oldest daughter, who had just graduated from college, accepted a job offer in New York City. The fact that she had found a job one that she happened to be very excited about was reason to celebrate. And yet, as happy as I was for her, I was in no mood to do cartwheels. Why would anyone want to leave home and move away from their “cool” parents?
The pharmacist in me made up a First Aid Kit and supply list for my son, which I put in a plastic box for him to take to the dorm. I also included instructions on what to take/use for what ailment and how to do so safely. It seemed like a ton of stuff, but our son was 11 hours from home. I did the same things for our daughter when she went away to school.
I sent three kids to college without fully thinking about whether they were ready. When I saw some red flags in high school missed homework assignments and poor time management I chose to ignore those problems, rationalizing that there is a lot of growth between ages 17 and 18, and these issues would work themselves out. I reasoned that if my kids were accepted to a college, they must be ready.
We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation from purchases made through these links. See more about our Privacy and Affiliate policies here College move-in day is approaching, and the best way to prepare is to be ready. Every school has its own rules and traditions surrounding move-in day, and you will soon learn what those are. But some things are universal.
Im a grandmother now. And even though I have more life behind me than in front of me, or maybe because of that, I find myself slowing down rather than speeding up. When I was a young mother, I was always racing. There were schedules to keep, meals to prepare, extracurriculars to get to, There was always somewhere to be or something to be done. There were a million things to check off my proverbial list, items listed in black ink, crossed out in red.
Having your child fail out of college can be one of the most confusing and devastating experiences for them and for you. There is a deep loss of confidence experienced at many levels. Your teen wonders if they can cut it as a college student. You wonder the same thing. Here are constructive things parents can do if their teen struggles in college. (Shutterstock fizkes) You might wonder if youve done something wrong as a parent.
As teens prepare for college, its hard to know how much spending money they will need once on campus. Many freshmen live in dorms and rely on meal plans paid for in advance. But they may have other out-of-pocket expenses like an early morning coffee or late-night pizza, items at the drugstore, school supplies, or even some entertainment that are not covered by room and board.
Here are great responses to unsolicited opinions about where your teen is going to college. (Aaron Amat/Shutterstock) Teens work hard to get accepted into college: please be supportive Your kid worked their tail off during high school and they are so proud of the college they will be attending in the fall. Or maybe they were kind of just not that into school and they are simply happy theyve chosen a community college to have some time to figure out what they want to study in the future.
Today my son’s community college Baseball career has came to an end. As I sit here heartbroken for him, I have to admit I unselfishly had no desire to see him stop playing anytime soon. I so wanted his team to advance to the next level. However tonight, they just couldn’t pull it off. Parents, when entering high school sports, allow your child’s talent to do the talking for you.
My mornings start with coffee: coffee and a phone call with my mom. When I was a young adult, I called my mom first thing when I got to work (because I am old and we didnt have cell phones yet!) Hectic from the rush out the door, frantic from sitting in a stalled line of cars, worried I would be late to a job I didnt even enjoy the call settled me, grounded me for my day.
I begged my parents not to come to my college graduation. It was an 8-hour drive from Brooklyn to Buffalo and I was only attending a small departmental graduation in my communication department. I begged my parents not to come to my college graduation. (Twenty20 @sineadles) Its such a long trip, I pleaded. Nope, we’re coming, my mother said. I begged my parents not to come to graduation.
As a parent, I know how hard it can be to let go and allow our children to manage the bumps and bruises of life. I wish to protect my daughter from every difficulty and shield her from every hurt. However, as a higher education professional, I know I cant, and shouldnt, parent with that as my priority. In my work in higher education, I see examples of parental over-involvement that may come from love but may not, in the end, succeed in producing confident, capable adults.
I serve as an academic advisor at a large university which puts me in the unique position of witnessing firsthand what most of you only speculate about higher education and the college experience today. Having had no fewer than twelve students (male and female) sob in my office in the first 3 weeks of last semester, I began to reflect on this chronic trend of students being unable to handle what many of us might consider normal stress levels.
As I count our final days together, Im trying to stay positive and upbeat, for him. But Im sad. Im not sad because I wont get to see him. His campus is only a little over two hours from home, so I can easily hop in the car if he invites me. I wont be holding my breath for that, but I remain hopeful hell want to pop home for some weekend visits. The child I drop off will return home as an adult.
Editor’s Note: Bestselling author Annabel Monaghan wrote this piece for Grown and Flown when her eldest was about to graduate from high school. We love it now every bit as much as we did then; we know you will, too. A year ago, a friend of mine whose child had just graduated from high school suggested I write an article about this big milestone.
I know Im not the only one. Amid all the dorm drop-off and video-chat-with-the-dog stories, Im here with two college students living at home. There are many good reasons for this a terrific program at a local college for one kid, two years of free community college from the state for both, and a chance to major in I Changed My Mind without going broke.
Eighteen is a year overflowing with contradictions. Eighteen wants to be a child forever, yet he cannot wait to grow up. He loves his house and cannot wait to leave it. Eighteen is our teen living in our home and an adult residing in another state in the same momentous year. On the eve of his 18th birthday, it seems almost as if nothing has changed, and then one morning in August, everything is different.
Teenagers fool us with their size, vocabulary, and swift mastery of new devices. They seem to be about the right shape to fit into the adult world. They drive cars. They know algebra. So its always momentarily shocking to find out that they dont know how to address an envelope or operate a can opener. Teenagers know so much and so little at the same time.
Sending a teen to college is a significant moment in your family’s life, but it is also filled with forms, logistics, and plans. You may be thinking about what to buy for their dorm room (we have everything you need for the dorm here) or what to say to them as you leave, but we want to touch on a few practical matters you should consider before you drive away.
My eldest son just turned 20. I dont even know what to do with that number. It means Im old, for one. Like, really old. And yet I remember exactly where I was when I turned 20: taking a Shakespeare midterm in college. I remember the shape of my bedroom, those who passed through it, and the 50s-era flowered thrift store blouse I wore that day because I was going through my ironic June Cleaver phase.
Following three weeks of practice, the first track meet would run until 8 p.m. That morning, my fourteen-year-old son went to school bleary-eyed after a rough nights sleep. He texted me toward the end of the school day. My son wanted to quit track the first day. Should I have let him? (Twenty20 @webbrennan) I hate track Its raining Im tired Is it too late to quit I frowned at the cold drizzle tapping at my window.
In middle school, my friends and I studied the prom issue of Seventeen magazine , fantasizing about that seemingly magical night waiting for us in the future. When high school came around, my parents didn’t have the budget for, or interest in, dress shopping. When I would beg for some item I needed for the big night, my mom scoffed, I dont understand your prom world!
Dear Daughters, Now you are both teenagers, looking at colleges, going to college, and discussing how you plan to decorate your first apartment. I hope Ive done a good job preparing you for life alone, but I know Ive missed a lot. This won’t make up for all those misses, but I still want to pass along a few things you need to know. Most of these, Ive told you before, so look at this as your what was it mom used to say about. refresher course.
Here is the best-kept secret about the college school year. It is about 15 minutes long. No sooner do kids return to college from spring break than they are ready to move back home for the summer. Moving into the college dorm or apartment was fun. The sheets and towels were new, the mattress topper was tightly packaged in its original box, and your college student was full of enthusiasm.
Im trying to remember how we marked the occasion of my high school graduation, and I cant. Maybe its because there wasnt a big, overblown celebration, but more realistically, it was over 30 years ago. Either way, Im drawing a blank. If you aren’t up for an outrageous graduation party, we have some low-key alternatives. (Arina P Habich/Shutterstock) Because Im not talking about the adorable little low-key inexpensive graduation party with family and close friends in the backyard with grille
My college sophomore bought a rolling cart for her dorm room this year. On move-in day, she cleared a space on her crowded suite floor and removed the cart from its packaging. Or, rather, she removed from a box the many pieces of what could conceivably turn into a cart. Parenting a college student is different than parenting a teen. (Shutterstock/ muratart) I watched her approach this project from my vantage point on top of her bunk bed, which I was making up for her not because she couldn’
My oldest son took driver’s education right after he turned fifteen. He planned to have all his driving hours in so he could send in for his license as soon as possible, which he did. The summer before, he had worked as many hours as possible to save for a car. He knew the exact one he wanted, and I watched him work two jobs and decline invitations from his friends so he could take extra shifts.
Life is decidedly unfair.Five years ago, your child (and you!) faced the social and educational upheavals of the pandemic.Now those college-bound students confront a higher education landscape thrown into uncertainty by actions of a new federal administration. Students may feel unsettled and wonder what their college experience will look like. Here is how parents can support them.
We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation from purchases made through these links. See more about our Privacy and Affiliate policies here High school graduation is much more than a ceremonial walk across a stage. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event that deserves a celebration of your son or daughter’s accomplishments. Outdoor grad parties can be casual ways to celebrate.
We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation from purchases made through these links. See more about our Privacy and Affiliate policies here We asked our community of nearly 300,000 parents for some of their best ideas for graduation party decorations and they gave us this treasure trove of tips. From deciding on a color scheme to what refreshments to serve, these super-creative ideas can be scaled for small gatherings or enormous, multi-family open house parties with large guest list
Going away to college was one of the most significant transitions Id ever had to make. I sat in my dorm room that first day with a huge smile, but inside, I felt a mixture of petrifying fear and excitement. Youre thrown advice in graduation cards left and right… Study hard! Sleep! These friends will last a lifetime! But none of those quick sentences prepare you for what it will really be like.
Hello, my name is Jill and Im cringey. I dont think my friends think Im cringey and I hope my husband doesnt think Im cringey but my youngest son certainly does, and he likes to tell me so on a daily basis. In fact, its sometimes on an hourly basis, but whos keeping track? I recently googled cringey and here is what I found – causing feelings of acute embarrassment or awkwardness.
How can your teen make money during the school year and vacations? We asked thousands of parents how their middle school, high school, and college students earn funds and below are some of the best job opportunities open to teens. Child care is a popular way for teens to make money. (Twenty20 @kiwitanya) Making Money: Teens Who Like To Work Outdoors 1.
As an educational consultant, I work with many high school seniors. Every year, I ask my former clients for advice to give my graduating high school seniors. I ask them to think about what would be helpful to know about college now that they have completed their first year. Hindsight is 20/20. Therefore, they had lots to say. Best advice from current college students to first years, including #2, Meet people.
So this happened. I was finishing making dinner and waiting for my husband to pull into the driveway after picking up our oldest daughter. The basketball hoop is my boys’ alter. (Twenty20 @CarlaRodriguez) My youngest, a high school sophomore, had come home about an hour earlier from the second day of basketball tryouts, and I hadnt even seen him yet as he was out in the driveway, in his natural habitat, shooting baskets.
We are a reader-supported site and receive compensation from purchases made through these links. See more about our Privacy and Affiliate policies here Again this year, Amazon is doing a Big Spring Sale for 7 days in March (March 25-31). If youre shopping for gifts for graduation, Fathers Day and/or Mothers Day, you may find EXACTLY what you want and pretty great prices.
If you are a parent of a teenager, you know all too well the transition that happens; they go from running circles around you to sleeping until noon and napping throughout the day. Small tasks like taking out the garbage or wiping the counter after theyve destroyed the kitchen to make a sandwich feels like a huge undertaking and they arent afraid to complain about it.
Last school year, I polled a small group of college students about what made them feel the most stressed in college. Mostly juniors, their answers varied but were all explicitly related to insufficient time to do everything required. Why did these students not elaborate with reports of disparaging feelings of overwhelm, doom, or stress? Did they know what stress looked like on themselves?
When we begin our search for the right college we consider all the obvious things: big, small, private, public, urban, rural, a preponderance of Greek life or very little, great food options or mediocre ones? Sometimes when it comes to choosing a school, we feel like well know the right place when we see it and we let our emotions take over. But given the enormity of the investment, there are things that we should focus on that we sometimes gloss over.
That blissful spot during the parenting years – after the stressful toddler and little kid years, but before the sheer torture of having teenagers – for me, unfortunately, felt like it lasted about twenty-seven seconds. When my sons were little, they used to like me! (@stammiejo via Twenty20) I had it so good! My children, although no longer babies, still possessed that sweet roundness about the face, and an equally sweet disposition.
My husband Joe and I were winding down on a quiet Sunday evening. Our 20-year-old twin boys left for their spring break trip to Mexico earlier in the morning. We didnt have enough time with them this visit, but the sushi dinner and belly laughs with them the night before more than made up for the briefness. Students on a spring break trip. (Pixaby) We worried about our teens when they went on a spring break trip.
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